Seasons
by MarkandIdrinktea
Summary: A RENT x Reader fic! The reader meets April at a bar and becomes good friends with her and the rest of the bohemian crew. But what will happen to this family after April's sudden suicide? It'll be good I promise, I just suck at writing intriguing summary's. Rated T for death, suicide, depression, and other sad things.
1. Chapter 1: April

Author's Note: Hey people! I'm back with my third story xD I'm planning on making this a long one so stick with me guys! Thank you so much for your lovely reviews and just for reading this! I really hope you guys like it! Xoxo-

"April I really can't!" You say, laughing slightly as her bony fingers wrapped around your wrist and pulled you down the sidewalk. "Sure you can! You don't even have work tomorrow!" She says, giggling with you. "Yeah but-"

"No buts!" She says dramatically. "I want you to meet my friends!" The red head continues to drag you along the sidewalk. "And I really want you to meet my boyfriend!" You both giggle at this.

You admire how welcoming and enthusiastic she was being, but realize it's also probably the 12 shots she had that was making her like this.

You had met a couple hours before, at some bar on Avenue B.

 _"Hey!" A red headed girl plops down next to you at the bar. "Hey." You say somewhat nonchalantly, drinking more of the beer in your hand. "I'm April!" She yells over the loud music. You smile, taking in her many piercings and expressive choice of clothing. "I'm Y/N." You say, holding out your hand. "Hi!" She greets you once more, taking your hand and shaking it vigorously._

 _"So what are you doing here?" You ask her, trying to make conversation...finding it only slightly odd that she came up to you so out of the blue._

 _"Well..." She starts, lowering her voice slightly._

 _"My boyfriend is in a band, and he usually plays here. Not tonight though, but I thought I'd come and drink and talk anyway." She tells you, her blue eyes shimmering. "Oh. Thats so cool." You tell her, trying to seem enthusiastic, but still feeling uncomfortable. "Come on." She says, grabbing your hand and leading you towards the makeshift stage where a band was preforming. If she didn't have a boyfriend, you'd think she'd be a lesbian._

 _"I don't know the name of the band, but they're good and they play here almost every night." April says, rocking her body to the beat of the rock music. You smile and try to enjoy the music as well. You and April listen to their entire set, and by the end, you had both downed 10 shots and were dancing like maniacs right in front of the stage._

 _Eventually you and April decide it's time to go. You check your watch and barely make out the numbers 12:56. You groan at how late it is, and walk out of the bar with April at your side. "That was really fun!" She says, still as ecstatic as ever. "Yeah!" You reply, although this time you whole heartedly meant it._

 _"So where do you live?" She asks. "Ummmm..." The alcohol in your system makes it difficult to answer this simple question. "On the corner of 11th and Avenue B." You tell her after a moment of thought. "NO WAY!" She says. Her loud voice makes your ears ring. "What?!" You ask her, curious._

 _"That's where my boyfriend lives! I was just heading over there now!" She says. You smile. "I can't believe we've never met eachother before!" You say. "Me neither!" She replies. You both continue down the street, toward the apartment building._

 _"HEY!" She says, shrieking again. "What?"_

 _"You should come over! You know! To my boyfriends! You can meet all my friends and-"_

And thats how you got where you are now.

Her boyfriend. "What's his name?" You ask her, trying to change the subject. "Roger. Roger Davis." She says. You don't really say anything. "Do you have a boyfriend?" She asks the dreaded question.

"Nah." You tell her, trying to sound like you don't care. "Oh...well Roger's got a really cute friend that I could set you up with!" She says. You laugh at this proposal. "That's okay April, I'm fine being forever alone." You say sarcastically.

She grabs both your hands and stops you from walking. "Well no one should be forever alone." She says, looking deeply into your Y/E/C eyes. Wow...this girl was intense when she wanted to be.

An uncomfortable silence followed as she stared at you, as if searching for something. "Let's get you home." You tell her, letting go of her hands and walking down the sidewalk, hoping she would follow...and she did.

"So are you coming over?!" She persists, sounding like a 4th grader who wanted a playdate. "I don't know April..." You say, realizing how worn out you were...and not really wanting to talk to anyone. "It'll be fun, I promise!" She says.

You eventually reach the apartment building and trudge up the steps. "What floor are you on?" She asks. "I'm one more floor up from here." You tell her. She grabs your hand and leads you to the sliding door of an apartment.

She smiles and fixes your hair a little. "Just be yourself." She says, sensing your nervousness. You smile and she slides open the door. "I'm home!" She yells into the apartment. You see a man with dirty blonde hair sitting at a metal table in what looked like the kitchen portion of the loft.

"Hey baby!" April says, running over to the guy who was probably Roger. "Hey." He says, kissing her on the lips.

You just stood there awkwardly. "Oh! Roger! This is Y/N!" She says, motioning for you to come over. You walked over to the table and said hi.

"I met her at the bar you play at! She's really great Roger. I just wanted you two to meet!" She says excited. Roger holds out his hand and you shake it. "Roger Davis. It's a pleasure." He says. You didn't especially appreciate his semi-sarcastic attitude, but you with held any comments.

"Is Mark home?" April asks. "Would Mark be anywhere but home on a Friday night at 12:00?" Roger asks. April giggles and only seconds later a second blond guy walks out of a bedroom on the other side of the loft. He has glasses and blue eyes, and seems to be holding a camera.

"Hey Rog, hey April, hey...do I know you?" He asks, laughing nervously. "Y/N Y/L/N." You say, holding out your hand, he shakes it. "Mark Cohen." He tells you.

"I met Y/N at the bar, Mark. I wanted you and Roger to meet her." She says, crawling onto Roger's lap. "I figured you and Y/N would hit it off." She says, teasingly. Both you and Mark blush at this, but you take the moment to tell April that you should probably go.

"Y/N! You just got here! Stay a little while!" She whines, getting up off Roger's lap and pulling you into the sitting area of the loft. "Let's play truth or dare guys." She says. Roger groans. "Wow April, how much did you drink?" He asks, half-seriously. April giggles.

Somehow you end up playing truth or dare, which ended very poorly for everyone...but it was lots of fun. When the clock strikes 2:00, you tell everyone that you have to go. "Aw okay." April says, standing up from her position on the couch. "Stop by tomorrow will ya?" She asks. You don't want to make any promises.

"Yeah maybe." You say. "Here's the loft number." She says, handing you a piece of paper with their phone number on it. "Call whenever." She says, hugging you. "I had lots of fun tonight!" She tells you. "Me too!" You say, hugging her back and waving goodbye to Mark and Roger.

"See you guys later!" You yell as you walk out the door.

"Bye Y/N!" All three yell at the same time, and you laugh, sliding the door shut.


	2. Chapter 2: Anniversary

Author's Note: I hope you guys all liked the first chapter of this! I'm trying my best xD Please Please PLEASE review! I want to know what I'm doing right and wrong so I can make this better for you guys! Thank you so much! As usual ENJOY! -Xoxo

You wake up the following morning with your head pounding and your stomach hurting. You groan and roll over, shielding your eyes from the sun shining through the window, worsening your hangover. Your eyes land on a piece of paper on your bedstand, and it reminds you of the previous nights events. You grab the paper and squint, barely making out the numbers written in black pen.

You're unsure why, but you feel the strong urge to call the number right then. You stand up quickly and stumble out of your bedroom, slamming your hand on the receiver and punching in the number. As you put the phone to your ear, your eyes catch the clock which reads **11:34**.

You hear three rings, but no one picks up. "SPEEEEEAAAAKKK." You hear the hilarious voicemail message. "Hey..." You start, your voice sounds rough and tired. You clear your throat and continue with more confidence. "It's Y/N, you guys probably aren't-"

"Hey!" You hear April's distinct and cheery voice on the other line. "Oh! Hey April!" You say, slightly flustered. "How are you?" She asks. "My head hurts." You say with a laugh, and she laughs as well. "Ditto." She doesn't waste anytime moving on to the next subject.

"Do you want to come over tonight? Me and Roger are going out for a bit, but you could come over after! Or before! Or you could keep Mark company while we're out and then hang out for a while once we're back!"

You are taken aback by how confident April is, and you admire her want to be friends with someone she met at a bar and hung out with for an hour or so after. You are unsure of what you want to do though. You would like to hang out with April, but hanging out with Mark and Roger as well might be weird. Or maybe not. What the hell, go for it.

"Yeah! That sounds great! What time are you guy heading out?" You ask her. You can almost hear her smiling. "Like 5:00!" She says. "Great! I'll be over around then!" You tell her. She squeals slightly. "Yay! See you later!" You smile, and then realize she can't see you. "Yeah!" You put down the receiver and sigh.

You decide that you should probably eat some breakfast, so you go and rummage through your pantry. Sadly, you find only a pathetic looking box of captain crunch and half a box of granola bars. You decide on captain crunch, thankful to have bought a carton of milk the day before. You enjoy your breakfast and decide to take a nap.

You set your alarm to go off at 3:30, and lie down in your warm bed, happy and grateful to be getting the sleep you need.

...

You yawn and sit up, pushing off the covers and checking the clock.

Sh*t

It was 4:56. And you were in your pajamas. You run to your dresser and pull out a pathetic outfit that consisted of blue skinny jeans, a maroon v-neck, and a dark blue sweatshirt. You pull on your clothes quickly and attempt to brush your hair. Key word being _attempt_.

You give up and throw it into a bun, managing to put on some mascara and lipstick, before grabbing your bag heading out the door.

You run down the stairs, and wonder why your rushing, you were sure April wouldn't mind if your were a minute or so late, but you liked being prompt. You arrive at the door and check your watch. 5:00 on the dot. WOW you were quick!

You knock on the door, and Roger is the one who answers it. "Hey!" He says with a smile. Wow, more cheerful than last night. "Hi!" You say. He opens the door further and invites you in. You drop your bag on the couch and Roger offers you coffee. You gladly take it and sit down with him at the kitchen counter.

"Where's April?" You ask. "Still getting ready." He says with a smile and an eye roll. "Oh." You say and smile. "Where are you guys going tonight?" You ask him.

"We're gonna go to dinner and see a movie. We rarely go on dates, but today is our 6 month anniversary so..."

"AW!" You gush. "Congrats! That's so cute!" You tell him. He blushes and nods. "Yeah it's great." He says.

"So you're staying here with Mark?" He asks, although he knows the answer. You nod. "Cool. He's kinda shy, so just try and be open...maybe he'll be less awkward." You both laugh at this and you nod, just as April walks out of her room.

"How do I look?" She asks, before even noticing your presence. "OHMIGOD Y/N!" You runs over to you and hugs you, and you hug her back. "April, you look gorgeous!" You tell her. And she did.

She was wearing a black dress that perfectly hugged her curvy figure, and her bright red hair was pinned up, with her layers hanging down on the side of her rosy face. "Aw! Thanks hon!" She says.

Roger compliments her outfit, and Mark walks out of his room a moment later. "Hey Y/N!" He says. "April you look great!" He says, taking in her gorgeous outfit. "Thanks Marky!" She says, grabbing Roger's arm.

"We'll be back before 10:00!" She says. Five hours?! "Ok!" You say, giving her and Roger a wave as they left. "Be careful!" You tell her as she's closing the door, aware of the dangers of the city at night. "You too!" She says with a wink.

Wow. This was going to be a long night.


	3. Chapter 3: Documentary

Author's Note: Yay it's the third chapter! THANK YOU SO MUCH to the person who wrote a review, it made my week! As usual thank y'all for reading and please enjoy!

The door slides shut, and you hear Roger and April's footsteps going down the stairs. You quietly sigh and look at Mark, who was already looking at you. You just smile politely and try and be confident as Roger had instructed you. "So what do you want to do?" You ask him. His eyes widen slightly, but he seems fine. "I dunno, have you eaten dinner yet?" he asks. You shake your head, and your stomach almost starts grumbling at the thought of food.

Mark walks over to their kitchen area and looks through the cupboards and the refrigerator. After a moment he turns around with a sigh. "There's no food. Nothing new though." He informs you with a light laugh. "Yeah, me too." You say back only a little awkwardly and smile.

You couldn't understand why it was so awkward between you two. I mean, you had only met him yesterday and you hadn't talked much, but you met April yesterday too and you were totally comfortable around her.

"Want to go out?" He asks, grabbing his coat. _Are you sure you can afford that?_ you think to yourself. "Sure!" You say with a smile, grabbing your bag and heading out the door.

You both walk down the cold metal steps of the apartment building, and he opens the door for you. You thank him and walk outside. Wow was it cold. You hadn't brought a jacket because you thought you would be inside the whole time. You cross your arms and shiver slightly. "Maybe I should go get a coat." You say to Mark. His eyes fill with realization.

"Here." He says, taking off his coat and giving it to you. You blush at the cute offer but decline. "Well now you'll be cold." You tell him, a light blush creeping up your cheeks. "I'll manage." He says with a smile, and you smile back, pulling on the plaid coat which he had given you. It was a little big, but really warm, and it smelled good too.

You both head down the street, and he points to a restaurant only a few blocks down. "Ever been there?" He asks you. You shake your head, reading the sign labeled **_THE LIFE CAFE_**. "It's great." He says, and you nod and follow him across the street to the cafe on the corner.

You walk into the little restaurant and are greeted with warmth. You sigh and Mark leads you to a little booth without speaking to the guy at the desk first. You just roll with it and sit down.

"So what are you going to order?" He asks, not even glancing at the menu. You are busy taking in the bohemian feel of the lovely cafe though. "Well what do you recommend?" you ask him with a smile.

"Anything but the pasta and meatless balls." He tell you. What?! "Ew!" You exclaim. He laughs. "Apparently it tastes the same." He says. "Yeah if you close your eyes." You both laugh at this and proceed to order food and drinks.

You realize you don't have much money, and could probably not even pay for half the meal. "How much money do you have? I only have like $5 in my purse." You tell him. He smiles politely. "Don't worry about it." He says.

Okay then.

You continue to create small talk until your food arrives. "So Mark, what do you do? Like what's your passion?" You ask him. He smiles. "Film." He says plainly. "Like you make movies?" You ask him. "Yeah. I'm working on a documentary right now." He tells you.

"Thats so cool!" You tell him enthusiastically, because you actually did think it was cool. "Thanks." He says and he clearly meant it.

You take the moment of silence to observe him. He had cute and kind of spiked up blond hair. His eyes were bright blue, and he had a perfect jawline. Behind the glasses and somewhat awkward disposition, he was actually really cute.

"So what's the documentary about?" You ask him.

"New York City, people with AIDS. My old roommate who now works at MIT has AIDS, and I'm trying to spread awareness you know?" He says. You smile brightly. "Yeah."

Just then he reaches into the bag that he had brought with him. You hadn't particularly noticed it at first, but now you were curious to see what was inside. He pulls out a black, somewhat antique looking camera. It was rustic and had obviously been used quite a bit.

He starts spinning the silver handle on the side of it, and points the lens directly at you.

"December 19th, 5:30 PM Eastern Standard time. Close in on Y/N Y/L/N, who I am currently sitting with at the one and only life cafe." He says, in a somewhat different voice than before. You smile at the camera. "What are you doing?" You ask him.

"Putting you in my documentary." He says. You smile widely at this.

"So Y/N, tell us about yourself." He says.

"Well, my name is Y/N Y/L/N, I'm 20 years old, I went to NYU for one semester before dropping out and moving to East Village where I now live in a crappy apartment only one floor above this girl named April that I met at a bar last night, who introduced me to you Mark, and Roger. Today is April and Roger's sixth month anniversary, so they went on a date, which is why me and Mark are having dinner at the one and only life cafe." You say, looking more at Mark than the camera.

He smiles. "Why'd you drop out of college?" He asks. You shrug. "I wanted to start my life for real I guess." You tell him.

"Did you ever go to college?" You ask. He shakes his head. "I was supposed to, but I didn't want to." He says, gripping tightly onto his camera.

"Here." You say, taking his camera out of his hands, and spinning the handle as he had done before. "Tell us about yourself Mark. We want to know about the filmmaker." You tell him. He sighs. "Please be careful, I don't want you to break it." He tells you.

"I'm being careful!" You say with a laugh. He just laughs and sighs once more, before looking at the lens of the camera. "My name is Mark Cohen, I'm 22 years old. I grew up in Scarsdale New York, and then moved straight to East Village where I met Roger Davis, my roommate and his girlfriend April. Last night April came home with Y/N, and now April and Roger are celebrating their sixth month anniversary, which is why I'm am here having dinner at the one and only life cafe, with my new friend Y/N." He finishes. You smile brightly.

"This is some good stuff we're getting here people!" You say, turning the camera to face yourself. "Y/N! Be careful!" He cries. "Please give it back." He says, he was laughing but you could tell he was serious. You look over at him, and in the moonlight shining in through the window, he looked perfect.

"Sure. On one condition." You say. He just raises an eyebrow. And in one swift motion, you lean across the table and kiss him on the lips, his camera pointing directly at you both. You feel him tense up.

OH gosh.

What if he has a girlfriend? What if he's gay?

But after a moment, his hand reaches up to your cheek and he kisses you back. You smile into the kiss, and after a moment of bliss you both pull away. You hand him his camera.

"Okay." Is all he says.

"What?" You ask with a flirty smile.

"Okay." He says again, this time leaning across the table and kissing you. You felt the presence of the black camera filming the whole romantic ordeal, and you both pulled away after what felt like 30 seconds. You smile, and he smiles back.

"That gonna be one hell of a documentary."


	4. Chapter 4: Stay This Way

Author's Note: AHAHAHHA I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH! The reviews that y'all wrote have literally made me so happy I can't even tell you. THANK YOU SO MUCH. I apologize for taking a couple days at a time to update, I'm so busy and not on winter break YET so yeah:/ Also I apologize for any spelling mistakes or grammatical errors, I just never have time to proof read these! Thanks again and please enjoy! -Xoxo:)

You and Mark had an amazing dinner at the life cafe, and you both talked and laughed and filmed the entire time. Before you both got up to leave, Mark leaned in closer to you and spoke in a low whisper. "Hey can I tell you something?" He asks, his blue eyes staring intently into your Y/E/C eyes.

"Yeah." You say suspiciously, leaning in and whispering as well.

"I don't have any money, so we're gonna have to run out of here." He says with a light laugh. Your eyes open wide. "Mark!" You whisper shout, laughing slightly. "That's illegal!" You tell him. He shrugs. "I do it all the time it's okay." He tells you. You just roll your eyes.

"Plus it makes for great footage." He says, picking up his camera and smirking at you. You just laugh and make a face. "Fine." You say.

He smiles brightly at this. "Okay. On three." He starts. You almost laugh at his immaturity, but then realize he's being serious.

"One." He starts rolling his camera. "Two." He grabs your hand. "Three."

You both dash out the door, and you can hear your waiter yelling at you. "Hey! You didn't pay! I know where you live Mark!" By now you had both made it about a block away from the restaurant, but you stopped when you realized that the waiter hadn't chased you far.

Despite the fact that you hadn't run very far, you were still gasping for air, and laughing hysterically wasn't helping. "How did-did he know where you live?" You ask him. Mark smiles widely and laughs with you. "I go there a lot." He says. You both eventually calm down and head home, holding hands.

You make it to the apartment, and you suddenly realize how tired you are. You groan, not wanting to walk up the two flights of stairs to their loft. "Ughh its so far." You complain. Mark chuckles. "You can do it!" He says in a goofy voice.

You just groan again, before coming up with a great idea. You put on your best puppy dog eyes and turn to face Mark. "Will you carry meeeee?" You ask like a three year old, holding your arms out for him to pick you up. He smiles his cute smile and laughs at you. "Sure."

Well that was unexpected.

He picks you up bridal style and carries you up the two flight of stairs, without much difficulty. Which was surprising, because Mark didn't seem super strong. He stops at the loft door, but doesn't put you down. Instead he just opens the door with one hand and then kicks it closed. You smile and kiss him on the cheek. "You're the best." You tell him. He blushes and you remain in his arms until-

You hear a laugh from the other side of the room. What?! You turn your head and realize that April and Roger were already home. How long had you been out?! As soon as Mark realizes their presence, he puts you down, and you both straighten yourselves out, as you probably looked a little out of it.

Roger and April just laugh. "What are you guys doing home so early?" Mark asks, making his way over to them at the kitchen table. You follow.

"We finished dinner early and figured we'd come back here before the movie." April says, a smirk creeping up your face. "What were you two doing out?!" She asks suspiciously.

"Ummm. There was no food here...so we went to the life." You tell her. You swear her smile brightens with every passing second. "Mhmm." She says.

"That's the truth!" You tell her with a laugh. She just smiles back. "You two just seemed a little close is all." She tells you. You feel your face turning red. But you decide to act smooth.

"That's because we are close." You say, grabbing Mark's face and smashing your lips against his. He kisses you back and soon enough you hear April and Roger yelling and whooping. You smile and pull away, not letting go of Mark's hand.

April squeals. "I love you two together! I just knew it! I knew it! This is perfect you guys! We can go on double dates and we can do couple things together! AH!" She squeals once more, her red curls bouncing, and she hugs you tightly.

"Babe we should probably go." You hear Roger's voice. She just smiles. "Okay." She grabs his hand and waves before leaving the loft for the second time that night.

You look at Mark and sigh. He sighs at the same time. "That went better than I expected." He says. You laugh loudly at this, and he pulls you closer to him. "I love your laugh." He says. You smile. "I love you laugh too." You tell him.

He just smiles his adorable smile. You felt like there had been so much smiling and laughing in the past two days.

You really hope it stayed that way.


	5. Chapter 5: AIDS

Author's Note: I hope y'all had a great holiday! I know I haven't uploaded for a while, but I was with my family and I didn't have my laptop! But I'm on break for a while now! So I'm hoping to get a couple chapters up:) Thank's so much to everyone for reading! I LOVE YOU ALL! -Xoxo:)

Naturally, April insisted that you move into the loft. A few months had passed and you were now very close to all three of them, spending almost all of your time in the loft. "Pleeeeasseee Y/N!" April whines, grabbing your wrist and jumping up and down. "You practically live here already! Just bring some stuff down and put it in my room! It'll save us all a lot of money and you're my best friend so imagine how great it would be if we were roommates!" She squeals.

You sigh but smile, realizing that she had a good point. "Okay fine." You tell her. She screams and hugs you tightly. "This is going to be great I promise!" You smile at her. "Yeah!" You tell her that you're going to bring some of your things downstairs and you leave.

You sigh and start up the stairs. You were excited, but moving all of your stuff would be a hassle.

...

After situating your things in April's (and now your) room, you notified the landlord that you had moved out and officially stopped paying the ridiculous rent. Although now you were sharing the rent with three other people.

That night you had pizza to celebrate, although you were all quite tired so you went to bed early. Although April didn't come into your room right away, and after hearing some interesting noises from Roger's room you guessed where she was and what she was doing.

You just sigh and pick up you book. You read for a little although things didn't get much quieter. Eventually you got up to look for Mark. As soon as you walked out of your room, you noticed him sitting at the kitchen counter, drinking coffee and fiddling with his camera.

"I thought you were asleep." You say, sitting down across from him. "I was." He says with a chuckle, eyeing his and Roger's room. You just laugh. "Right." You say.

"Want some coffee?" He asks getting up and going over to the 'stove'. You nod. "Yeah, thanks."

He sets a red cup down in front of you, but continues to play with his camera. "You haven't done much filming lately." You tell him. He shrugs. "The documentary kinda sucks." He says. Aw Mark.

"No it doesn't! You're great, Mark. You just need motivation." You tell him, standing up and going to sit next to him. He puts down the camera and looks at you, his blue eyes reflecting the moonlight. "I've got motivation." He says. Although he didn't seem to believe it much.

He seemed much sadder than usual. "What's wrong?" You ask him. He looks at the floor and shrugs. You grab his hands, and you feel him jump slightly. "Come on, what's wrong?" You ask him again. This time he looks up and stares into your eyes.

"Lots." He tells you. You raise an eyebrow. "Like what?" You push the question further.

"What the hell am I doing here?" He asks you more than himself. What did he mean? "Well, you're here because you want to be here Mark." You tell him sweetly. He shakes his head. "No. I don't want to be here." He says.

Why was he so upset all of a sudden?

"If I knew my life would be like this...If I knew I'd be living in a crappy apartment with no heat and no food and a roommate who spends everyday banging his girlfriend so loudly I can't sleep-I would have gone to college. What the hell was I thinking?! I thought I had this great passion for film but I-I can't even finish this stupid documentary." He finished.

He lets go of your hands and bury's his face in his own. "You're right. I've got no motivation." He says, taking his hands from his face and looking at you. You shake your head. "No Mark. You've got me." You tell him. He just looks at you.

"But you don't love-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence Cohen. I love you more than anything. I know I'm not the best girlfriend ever...but I love you more than anyone else in the world and nothing is going to change that. I promise it's not. You're here because if you weren't...we wouldn't have met...and I wouldn't be the luckiest girl alive." You say, kissing him passionately. He immediately kisses you back.

"I love you so much." He says and you both smile. You kiss him once more, harder, and eventually you end up in your room...and you can probably guess what happened next.

...

The next day you woke up, not remembering much of the night before and heading into the kitchen to look for food.

Nothing.

Mark and Roger were sitting on the couch, Mark fiddling with his camera as usual, and Roger tuning his guitar. You sit down in a chair. "Morning." You greet them both, but kiss Mark on the cheek.

Both of them mumble some sort of greeting and continue doing whatever they were doing before. "Where's April?" You ask. "Out." Roger tells you. "Out where?" You ask. He shrugs. How did he not know?!

"Oh. Okay." You say, going to your room to retrieve your book, but you are stopped by a knock on the door.

You open it to see your best friend, with red eyes and messy hair. She grabs your arm and pulls you outside. "April?!" You say concerned. "SHH!" She says, pulling you down the stairs and out of the loft. "April what is going on?!" You ask her urgently, shocked by how suddenly her usual bubbly and enthusiastic demeanor had changed.

"I went to the doctor." She says. Oh god. You didn't like the sound of this.

"And you know...you know how I haven't been feeling well the past few weeks?" She asks. You nod. Eyes wide.

"Well I woke up this morning, and I could barely breath...so I told Roger I was going to the store and he didn't question it." She says, tears running down her face. You nod once more, waiting for what she had to tell you.

"I have AIDS." She comes out and says it.

It was like a bullet. Once quick blow.

You feel the world spinning, and for a moment you feel like you might puke...yet the cold morning breeze keeps you from passing out. Your hand moves to your mouth. "Oh my god." Is all you say, before tears threaten to escape your eyes.

"April." You say her name and pull her close, breathing in the lovely scent of the shampoo she had used to wash her hair the night before. She hugs you back, her fingernails digging into your flannel shirt. "April." You say once more, but this time your bawling.

You knew what AIDS was.

And you knew that it was practically a death sentence. But how did April get it? She didn't have sex with anyone who-

Oh.

You think back to a conversation you had had with Mark a few weeks after you met.

 _"What's taking them so long?" You ask him, waiting for April and Roger to arrive back at the loft. "Well you know..." He says._

 _You actually don't know._

 _"I know what?" You ask him. He looks at you._

 _"Look. I know neither April or Roger have probably told you this...but you should know. They both kind of have a drug problem. If they come home high it's not exactly shocking." He says._

 _What?! But April seemed so...normal. Why wouldn't she tell you?_

 _"Oh." Is all you say._

 _And Mark was right, they both came home high, with needles in their hands...although neither had any recollection of it the following morning._

It was the drugs. It was the damn needles. God these drug dealers don't even have clean needles?!

You just hug her tighter and cry into her shoulder.

"It's okay. You'll be fine." You tell her reassuringly, pulling away. Suddenly her face turns even paler than before.

"April?!" You ask her. Putting a hand on her shoulder. "Roger." She says. And suddenly you realize.

She gave it to Roger. She must have. Her eyes then turn panicked and she starts shaking.

"Y/N you can't tell him. He'll kill me please Y/N don't tell him...Don't tell anyone." She says seriously.

Not a good idea. At all.

But you agree anyway. She hugs you quickly and you both compose yourselves, before walking back up to the loft.


	6. Chapter 6: AIDS

Author's note: GUYS! Your reviews are making me so happy I can't evenxD Thank you so much! Sadly this story has taken a depressing turn...but it's rent we're talking about here so. Thanks for reading! Enjoy!:)

You and April managed to get through the next few days without any suspicion. April took her AZT in secret and you kept your mouth shut...that is until Roger's health started going downhill.

You knew that sooner or later you would have to tell him, because April obviously hadn't and you didn't exactly want him to die. But you decided to just talk to April about it first. Mark asked if you, Roger, and April all wanted to go out to eat and you all happily said yes, except for April.

"I'm not feeling well, but you guys can go." She says. You look at both Roger and Mark wearily. "I'll stay with you babe, Mark and Y/N can go." He says. April shakes her head almost too forcefully at this. "It's fine really, you guys go. I'll be fine." She says with one of her award winning smiles.

It was that smile, and that smile only, that convinced you to walk out that door.

...

After a lovely lunch with Mark and Roger you returned back to the loft. You opened the door and saw that April wasn't on the couch where she was when you had left. "April? We're home!" You say, hanging up your coat and Mark and Roger do the same.

No response from April. "She's probably taking a nap in our room." You say. Before heading to check you go to look in the bathroom, as you felt that something was wrong. You saw that the wooden door was slightly ajar as it usually was, but you opened it anyway.

The room was dark, and the shades were drawn, covering the one window in the whole room. You reach for the light switch and turn it on.

Blood.

You feel as if your entire vision had gone a dark shade of red, as that was almost the only color you saw.

There was blood all over the floor and the bathtub...

it was almost as she was bathing in it. You instantly saw the source and realized she had slit her wrists.

You stumble backward, slamming into the wood door, which closed with a loud bang. You immediately lock it and fall to the floor.

You were in shock.

No.

Shock can't begin to describe it.

You were in some state between consciousness and unconsciousness.

You somehow managed to crawl over to the tub. You saw a small piece of white paper crumpled up in her hand.

You pried it from her pale, sickly fingers, and opened it.

 ** _Roger-We've got AIDS. I love you baby._**

 ** _Mark-I'm sorry Marky, take care of Y/N. I love you._**

 ** _Y/N- I'm so sorry, you're my best friend forever. Thanks for keeping our secret for so long. I love you._**

So that was it.

Her suicide note.

You couldn't comprehend it. You felt tears filling your eyes, yet sadness wasn't the word to describe how you felt.

"Y/N?!" There's a knock on the door and you hear Roger's voice. Shit.

"Y/N?! April isn't in her room. What are you doing in there?" He asks.

You don't know what to say. "I um..I...don't come in Roger." You say, scrambling to hide the note, the body, the seemingly infinite amount of blood.

"Y/N! You're scaring me! Open the door!" He yells. _Trust me Roger, you don't want me to open the door,_ You think to yourself.

"No. Roger I'll be out in a minute." You barely whisper, yet he somehow hears you.

"Y/N?" You hear Marks voice. Oh Mark.

"Are you okay?" He asks. You shake your head violently, and run your fingers through your hair. "No. no no no please just don't come in." You tell them. You can hear them panicking.

"Just tell us what the hell is going on! I swear Y/N I will break down this door!" Roger yells at you.

You just stop. And you realize what has to be done. You put the note on the floor and open the window. You crawl out onto the fire escape, and go back in through the window in the front of the loft. Mark and Roger are still banging on the door, not realizing that you had left.

"Guys." You say quietly, and they both turn around.

You then realize that you're covered in blood. April's blood. You feel lightheaded, and the room starts spinning. "Y/N oh my god. What happened?!" Mark runs over to you. "Are you okay?! Why are you covered in blood?!" He starts to panic.

Roger is standing behind him.

"Y/N, tell us what the fu** is going on or so help me god I will kill you." He says, you barely flinch at this, as you were in too much shock to even process what either of them were saying.

"April." Is all you say. Roger's face loses all color. Mark's as well.

"She's dead." You tell them. "She killed herself."

And suddenly the air shifted. After saying it out loud, after seeing the look on their faces...you couldn't handle it. The tears fell down your face like a waterfall. No one said anything though. Not for a moment at least.

"No." Roger says. "You're lying. You're fu*king lying to me." He says. You shake your head. He crouches down in front of you, and for the first time in your life you were scared of Roger Davis.

"Tell me that you're lying." He says quietly, green eyes staring deep into your Y/E/C ones. Suddenly he pushes you and you fall backward, with him on top of you. "TELL ME YOU'RE LYING! TELL ME HER DEAD BODY ISN'T IN THERE! TELL ME THAT'S NOT HER BLOOD ON YOU'RE HANDS!" He screams at you.

"Roger please-"

"SHE CAN'T BE. SHE WOULDN'T DO THAT TO ME!" He yells at you. Suddenly you see Mark pulling him off of you. "Stop it." He tells Roger assertively. Roger calms down slightly, but only at the sight of his roommate crying.

You all knew that Mark never cried.

Roger just walks over to the bathroom, not hesitating to kick down the door with his foot. You see Mark flinch, and you stand up, grabbing Mark's arm and holding it tightly. You suddenly hear Roger's horrific crying coming from the loft bathroom, and it's one of the most painful sounds you've ever heard.

You and Mark stand there for a minute, and you can feel Mark's body shaking with each sob that escaped him, and you cried with him.

Eventually Roger left the bathroom, covered in her blood. The blood which was almost the same color as her beautiful and once lively hair. The blood which once running through the veins of her small yet lively body. A body that held so much joy. So much love for life.

And it was all torn away in the one swift motion of a needle.

AIDS.


	7. Chapter 7: It's Over

Author's Note: AH! I'm sorry I haven't updated for a while, I'm on winter break and I've been so busy:( But I can't even tell you how happy I am that you guys are enjoying the story! Thank you SO MUCH for the reviews you guys have written, it means so much to me! And I'm sorry but April had to die eventually:( R.I.P. April. Haha, please enjoy!:):):):):):)

Everything after April's death didn't seem to register much with you. You felt like you were merely going through the motions of calling the police and watching them take her lifeless body away, but not truly doing them.

After Roger went into the bathroom he wouldn't leave April's side. Eventually Mark had to get him out.

You were sad that Mark had to see the body, he seemed far too innocent to you, and it upset you that he had to see the horrific mess in the bathroom. But you figured that maybe it was for the best.

"Rog please." Mark said, trying to get his friend to let go of her lifeless body. You merely stood in the (now broken) doorway, not wanting to go in there again. Roger shook his head and cried harder, getting blood all over himself. "Roger we need to call the police. Please get up." Mark told him calmly, although he was crying just as hard as Roger.

"I'm not gonna leave her Mark." Roger hissed. Mark turned to you with wide eyes. "Y/N will you call the police please?" He asked you. You nodded and slowly walked over to the phone. You picked up the receiver and typed in 9-1-1, noticing the startling amount of blood on your hands and clothes.

An officer eventually picked up on the other line. "911 what is your emergency?" He asked in a low voice. "I'm...um. My friend...um-s-sh-she slit her wrists in-in our apar-apartment." You tell him. You almost think you hear him sigh. "Does she have a pulse?" He asks.

"N-n-no." You stammer. You hear him write something down. "We'll send someone to pick up the body. What's your address?" He asks. "Th-third floor of the ap-apartment building on the c-corner of 11th and Avenue B." You tell him.

Without so much as an "okay" he hangs up the phone.

You look back to the bathroom, and the shock of April's death hits you again. Mark is still trying to cope Roger out of the room without much success. Roger is now holding tightly on to the redhead, muttering things quietly to himself and clutching the note in his left hand.

A few minutes later there is a knock on the door. You manage to make your legs move and go to answer the door. The door slid open to reveal two police men. "This the right place?" One of them asked. You nod and step away from the door.

Your heart drops at the sight of the body bag they carried with them.

You couldn't handle this.

You followed behind them quietly, and you see Mark get up from his place on the bathroom floor. He eyes the police men quickly before turning back to Roger. "Come on Roger the police are here." Mark tells him, losing his patience. Roger shakes his head violently and continues to hug the body which at one time would have hugged him back.

Mark eventually grabs Roger's arm and half leads half drags him out of the bathroom, all while Roger hits him continuously and yells. "NO! DON'T LET THEM TAKE HER!" He screams, noticing the police. "Roger they have to take the body." Mark says, still sobbing along with you, but managing to keep his voice steady.

"DON'T YOU LET THEM TOUCH HER MARK!" Roger screams hysterically, trying to get back to her, but you and Mark kept him outside of the bathroom. Mark just looked at his friend sadly. "Y/N." Roger looks at you. "Don't-don't let them t-t-take her Y/N." He stops screaming and just sobs. Your heart breaks, but there is nothing you can do.

A moment later the cops head out of the bathroom with April's body in the horrific bag they had brought with them. Roger lifts his head from where it was in his hands and stares at the body, but doesn't say anything.

"Thank you." Mark says to the two men. They both nod solemnly and head out of the loft without another word.

As soon as they leave, Mark falls to the floor, a couple feet from Roger. You sit down in between the two of them, and Mark puts his arm around you. You scoot closer to him, and a moment later Roger slides across the floor and puts his arms around you.

You put your arms around both boys and eventually you are all sitting on the floor huddled together.

It must have been quite a sight. Three hysterical people sitting on the floor covered in blood and holding on to each other for dear life.

After what felt like hours, Roger speaks.

"Y/N?" He asks. You look at him. "Yeah?" You say quietly.

"On the note...April thanked you for keeping a secret. What was the secret?" He asked you.

Oh no.

If you told Roger...if he knew that you knew...this could have been-

No it couldn't have.

Maybe if you had told him and Mark...they could have helped.

No.

No this wasn't your fault.

"I...ummm, we had lots of secrets Roger." You tell him. He doesn't seem to quite buy it, but nods anyway.

"Roger?" Mark asks. Roger gives Mark his attention.

"I'm sorry." Is all he says.

"I'm sorry too Mark." He says back.

He then looks to you. "I'm sorry Y/N." Roger says. You nod and blink back more tears. "I'm sorry too Rog. You too Mark."

So that was it.

She was dead...and you weren't getting her back.


	8. Chapter 8: Corpses Don't Cry

Author's Note: GUYS! You're the best! I've read all your reviews and I can't even tell you how much I appreciate them all! Thank you so much for reading! I love you al! Enjoy!

P.S. Sorry I haven't updated for like a week...I have midterms and exams to study for so:/ I'm trying my best! Thanks for sticking with me guys! -XOXO

April's funeral was about a week after her death. You didn't expect that many people to show up, because you thought that you and the boys were her only friends...you were very wrong. You swear a hundred people showed up at the funeral.

Of course April's family was there, you exchanged a couple solemn words with both of her parents, and April was the spitting image of her mother. You spoke to some of her other family members but not much. Most of the people that showed up were her friends. Friends that you didn't even know she had.

You realized that most of them were from her childhood, she must have been close to most of them.

It hurt to hear other people talk about April and her death.

"It's so horrible that she died so tragically. Must have been a horrific scene." One particularly odd individual that she must of been aquatinted with said to you. You had the urge to make a remark about the fact that you were the one who found her body, but decided against it, not wanting to sound too morbid.

You sat in between Mark and Roger and kept yourself from so much as tearing up for the first half of the funeral, that was until you were asked to speak.

You hadn't planned on saying anything, but this was April.

You exchanged a nervous glance with both Mark and Roger before making your way up to the alter.

There was a microphone, and you stepped up to it quickly, not daring to glance and the open casket holding her body only feet from you. You cleared your throat quickly and tried to think of touching words, although nothing all that touching came to mind. _Just start simple._ You think you yourself.

"April was-" You stop at the sound of how shaky your voice sounds. You look at the crying people across the beautiful church and take a breath, trying to start again.

"April was one of my good-" You stop for the second time.

"Best." You say. "April was my best friend." You tell the audience. "We only met a couple months ago, but I knew we had hit it off the moment we met." You tell them honestly, continuing to tell the story of how you met.

A few people laughed at points, due to the fact that you had moved on from what was a melancholy speech to simply retelling stories of crazy things that April had done when you were with her.

Eventually though, you had to close the speech.

"I know that April would not have wanted us all to greive...because April was one of those people who always wanted everyone else to be happy before even she was." You say.

"April may have died tragically, and her last few weeks may not have been her finest..." You start.

"But what are a few weeks of sadness compared to a lifetime of happiness and adventure?" You ask the audience.

"April wouldn't want us to remember her as sickly and dying. She'd want us to remember her as the fantastically eccentric human being that she was." You tell it as though it was the most truthful thing you had ever said, and for all you know it might have been.

"I still can't believe that this is real. It seems like some horrific nightmare that I'm gonna wake up from any second now...but accepting the fact that this is real is the only thing we can do now. When I understand this is real, my only comfort is in knowing that she in in a better place; up there she will be with me...with all of us wherever we go, until we meet and laugh again like we used to. Thank you." You finish, and realize that you had made it through the entire speech without shedding a single tear.

You take a breath and step down from the alter, and head toward your seat, accidentally (or maybe not) looking at the black casket that held her body. Suddenly, upon looking at her pale body in that black dre-

You take a moment. You knew that dress. Wait.

It was the same black dress that she wore on her and Roger's anniversary. You feel tears stinging your eyes, and suddenly you start bawling, looking at her beautiful face and her full head of red hair that went so perfectly with the rest of her and the necklace that she was wearing, and the way the dress hugged her body, and then you realized how badly you wanted to hug her.

To feel her. To feel her arms wrapped around your body, to pull away and see her gorgeous smile.

That smile.

You'd never see it again. Neither that or her eyes.

Her eyes were the best part of that smile. That wouldn't make sense to anyone but you and anyone else who spent time admiring her perfect smile.

It hurt. More than anything. You wanted to leave. You wanted to run back to your seat and sit there in silence...but you couldn't. You lean over the casket, unaware of who was watching, and place a kiss on April's forehead.

You have to resist flinching at the feel of her once warm but now cold and clammy skin against your lips.

You pull away, and see a single tear fall from your face onto her cheek, and you instinctively wipe it away. "Don't cry April. Everything's okay now." You say to the corpse lying in front of you, even though you and everyone else in the room knew that corpses don't cry. You suppose this was a good thing...

But then again,

Corpses don't smile either.


	9. Chapter 9: Pain

Author's Note: Hiiiii everyone! I'm so sorry it's been like a week since my last update! I'm trying! Thank you all SO MUCH for your reviews! They make me SOSOSO happy! Sadly, April will not be returning as a zombie:( Haha! Thank you guys! As always, enjoy! -XOXO

The end of April's funeral gave you a feeling of numbness, and you carried on through the rest of your day without much real thought or emotion.

You and the boys got home around 8:00 PM, because you had gone out for drinks which just ended in even more sadness.

When you got home you made some tea and sat alone at the kitchen table, staring into space until eventually your eyes ended on the bathroom. Tears immediately clouded your vision as you remembered the tragic events after April's death.

You had managed to get most of the blood off the floor, but you had to throw away the rug and most of the other things in there, and the bathtub was now permanently stained a pinkish-red color.

Neither you or the boys used the bathroom much, and you would only go in there when you had to.

You couldn't believe that she had killed herself.

You knew that things were bad but...but not like that bad.

Over the past few days you had begun thinking through the whole situation. You began thinking that there was something you could have done.

You tried to tell yourself that there was nothing you could have done, you didn't know.

But that's not true. You did know, and if you had just told Mark and Roger...they could have helped. Of course they could have helped. April would be alive, she would realize that Roger still loved her, even if she had given him AIDS. Neither you or Mark talked much to Roger about his newly developed immune deficiency, you only gave him constant reminders to take his AZT and that was that.

You really regretted not telling either of them, and it killed you that this could have been avoided, if you hadn't been such a sissy.

A moment later, Roger walks into the kitchen, pulling you out of your thoughts. You look up at him and he sits down.

"Want some tea?" You asked him, getting up to pour more for yourself. He shook his head and you sat back down across from him.

It's silent until you decide to say something. "How are you doing Roger? With everything?" You ask him. His green eyes seem to search your face for a moment until he says something unexpected. "Tell me." He says. What?

"Tell you what?" You ask him. His eyebrows furrow and he seems more serious than you had seen him for a while. "Tell me what your hiding. I can tell your hiding something." He says. You almost hit yourself for being so transparent, but figure that now is a good time to tell him.

"I knew." You say softly, staring into your cup, searching for something that wasn't there. "Knew what?" He asks, his voice more urgent than before. You swallow and realize that your throat and mouth had suddenly become very dry.

"I..." You start, your voice sounding more shaky than you had hoped. "I knew that April...I knew she had AIDS." You say to him, bracing yourself for yelling and screaming, but nothing came. "You knew?" He asked, sounding a mixture of hurt, shocked, confused, and furious.

You just nod. "Why didn't you tell me?" He asks, voice raising slightly. You shrug. "April told me not-"

"Screw April! I could have helped her! You hear me?!" He yells. You knew this conversation wouldn't end well. You nod again, not wanting to upset him any more. "Can you say anything?!" He yells.

"Roger, I don't know what to say." You tell him solemnly. "Please don't be mad though, I know I screwed up but...April would have killed herself anyw-"

"Don't you dare finish that sentence!" He yells at you, now standing up and pacing the room. You observe that his footsteps are off balance and he seems to be a little out of it, but you attempt to reason with him once more. "Roger you have to understand, I wasn't about to betray April's trust." You tell him calmly, although your voice sounded small compared to his.

"If it meant saving her life you sure as hell should have!" He yells.

You change the subject. "Where's Mark?" You ask him. He shakes his head and laughs sarcastically. "Nevermind Mark." He says. What is he talking about? "Roger come on." You say.

"Sleeping. He's sleeping." He tells you. "I told him not to bother us because I wanted to talk." He says, slightly calmer.

You are taken aback by how weirdly he was acting, but you go along with it. "Oh okay...are we done talking?" You ask him, hoping he'll forget his anger towards you. He looks at you with an almost dead look in his eye. "No we're not done talking!" He raises his voice once more.

"I just don't get it Y/N...I don't get why you did it." He says.

You get that he was upset, but he was blowing this only slightly out of proportion. "Roger! It's not like I killed her!" You raise your voice as well. "You might as well have!" He raises his voice even more than yours.

"I get that you're upset okay?! But don't you blame me for her death! She was my best friend Roger! If there was anything I could have done...I would have done it!" You tell him honestly. He shakes his head, over and over, and you stand up, getting defensive.

"IF YOU WOULD HAVE DONE ANYTHING THEN WHY DID YOU KEEP IT A SECRET?! SHE KILLED HERSELF BECAUSE SHE WAS AFRAID OF WHAT I WOULD DO!" He yells the loudest you had ever heard him. Was Mark really sleeping through all this?!

Roger starts walking toward you slowly. "YOU GOT HER KILLED!" He screams at you, before doing something you never expected.

He hit you.

And something else hit you as well. He was drunk...you could smell the alcohol on his breath. He had probably been drinking in his room after you got back from drinking at the bar.

And that realization is the only reason you didn't hit him back.

Suddenly you were on the floor, with Roger on top of you, yelling curses and punching uncontrollably. "ROGER STOP!" You scream at him, putting your hands up in defense.

"You killed her! You killed her!" He screamed over and over...he said it so many times that you thought those words would never leave your head.

"MARK! MARK HELP!" You yell, hoping that Mark will show up and save you from Roger's wrath. But no one comes into the room.

"STOP IT ROGER!" You say, finally managing to push him off of you, but refraining from the intense urge to kick him. You run into Mark and Roger's shared room, aware of the blood trickling down your face.

You lock the door from the inside, and frantically look for Mark, realizing he wasn't in the room. You are beyond confused. DID ROGER KILL HIM OR SOMETHING?! No...no Roger wasn't capable of that.

Suddenly you hear muffled yelling and you turn to see Mark, standing out on the fire escape. What the heck?! You run over to the window and open it, and Mark immediately jumps inside the room, shivering uncontrollably.

It must have been ten degrees out and he wasn't wearing a jacket or so much as a sweater. "Are you okay?! What happened?!" He asks, his blue eyes examining you. You just stare at him for a moment.

"Roger. Roger happened. Why the hell were you outside?! Without a jacket?!" You ask him. He shakes his head in disbelief. "Roger told me to go out with him...and we were sitting out there when he just ran back inside and closed the window and locked it. I didn't have a key so I couldn't get in through the door, and I didn't want to leave in case...in case something happened to you but...I guess something happened anyway." He says.

You nod. "Roger's off his rocker." You say, and Mark laughs sarcastically. "Did he really do this?!" He asks, gesturing to your face. "I'm just as shocked as you are." You tell him. He just looks at you, with a look of shock, worry, and fear on his face.

"It's okay Mark. We're okay...Roger just needs some time to calm down." You tell him. He nods, not seeming to fully comprehend what you said.

"Wanna sleep in here tonight?" He asks. And you nod, smiling, and hoping that Roger wouldn't get himself into too much trouble without you and Mark watching over him.

You and Mark lay down and don't bother putting on pajamas. You cringe at how cold he is, and pull him close to you, trying to get him to stop shivering.

Who knew that April's death would bring this much pain.


	10. Chapter 10: Collins

Author's Note: AHAHA Finished all my midterms! Hope y'all are having a great week! Thank you so much for the reviews they mean so much to me! I hope you enjoy this next chapter! I love you all! - XOXO

You wake up and immediately groan as a dull pain spreads across the side of your face. You stand up and see that Mark was no longer in bed. You look in the mirror and gasp at your black eye and the many cuts that covered your face.

You wanted to be mad at Roger.

But for some unknown reason, you couldn't be. Sure, one reason was that he was drunk and didn't know entirely what he was doing...but still.

You suddenly hear hushed yet angry voices coming from outside the bedroom door. "Are you insane?" You make out Mark's voice amongst the two.

"Mark I'm sorry, I didn't know-"

"Didn't know what you were doing?! Maybe that's because even after I told you to stop drinking you didn't listen!" Mark cuts off Roger, and he sound angrier than you have ever heard him.

"I know Mark...I know. I was just mad okay? Don't hold a grudge." Roger says. "You could have killed him/her!" Mark yells. You walk out of the room and immediately make eye contact with Roger.

His face falls quickly and he walks over to you. "I'm so sorry Y/N, I didn't know what I was doing...if I wasn't in the state I was in I never would have done that." He says. You believe him. "It's okay Roger." You tell him, trying to move past this, as you and both the boys had bigger things to worry about.

"It's not okay Y/N!" Mark says. He was being much more aggressive than his usual quiet and submissive self. "Mark..." You walk over to him and put your hands on his face. "It's fine. We need to move on okay?" You tell him. His eyes look confused as they stare into yours, but he eventually turns back into his old self, partially at least.

He nods. "Yeah." He says, although you can still sense a tint of anger in his voice.

You all go about your days, although you still sense an awkwardness in the air. Eventually you decide to go on a walk to get out of the anxious and freezing environment that you had been living in. "I'm going out." You say, grabbing your coat. "Okay, be careful." Mark and Roger say at the same time and you laugh before exiting the loft.

You walk down the street for a while, not stopping to look inside stores, but just wanting to get some fresh air. By now it had grown dark and you thought to head back home, although about a block from the apartment building you hear someone coughing loudly. You stop and listen again, hearing the pathetic coughing once more. What the heck?

You follow the noise down an alleyway and see a man, probably only a year or so older than you sitting on the dirty path of the alley way. You can tell he's bleeding and is clearly injured. He doesn't notice you, and coughs once more into his hands that wore a pair of cheap gloves.

"Oh my god are you okay?" You ask him, not bothering to care about the possible dangers of going up to a random man in an alleyway. He looks up to reveal beautiful dark brown eyes and a handsome face. "I'm...I'm fine." He says weakly. "You don't seem fine." You tell him, kneeling down beside him. "Did they get anything?" you ask him, assuming he was mugged. "Not much, I barely had anything in my wallet anyway." He says.

"I'm Y/N." You tell him. "Collins, Tom Collins." He tells you, and you offer him your hand. You help him stand up and he does, slowly, and winces multiple times.

"You need medical assistance." You tell him, noticing the amount of blood coming from his head. "I'll be fineeeee..." He says, nearly falling over, but you catch him. "At least let me take you to my place. My roommates are kind of in a fight right now, but they should be able to suck it up." You tell him, and he laughs lightly, clutching his stomach.

"Okay." He says, and you manage to lead him up the few flights of stairs to the loft. His face grew paler and you frantically knocked on the door, wanting to get Collins on a couch before he passed out. Mark answered the door.

"He's really hurt and he needs help Mark. Now." You tell him, not wanting to deal with him or Roger's sassy attitudes. Mark nods his head and his blue eyes widen as he opens the door for you. You help Collins over to the couch and see Roger sitting in a chair next to it. "Whoa whats going on?" Roger says putting down his notebook.

"He got mugged, I found him in an alley." You tell them. "Tom Collins." Collins says weakly, holding his hand out to no one in particular. Mark takes it and shakes it. "Mark Cohen. Do you want us to take you to the hospital? You don't look so good." Mark says.

Collins quickly shakes his head and you look to Roger who seems distracted by something other than the man bleeding on the couch. "I'll get a first aid kit." You say, dreading the fact that you had to go into the godforsaken bathroom, but doing it anyway. "Roger will you get Collins some water please?" You ask him, and he takes a moment to nod and walk over to the kitchen.

You rummage quickly through a few cabinets and find a first aid kit hidden beneath the sink. "Here." You say, sitting down on the table parallel to the couch. You pull out some bandages and disinfectants. You examine Collins' head as Roger comes back with a glass of water, and Mark sits down on the edge of the couch, keeping Collins calm.

"I think you need stitches." You tell him, shocked by the deep cut on his forehead. Collins just shakes his head drowsily, and looks like he's about to pass out, as his head rolls to one side. "Hey stay with us." Mark says, shaking Collins awake.

His brown eyes open and he seems to realize what is happening once more, and he looks to you. "I'm gonna clean the cut first okay?" You ask him, and he nods his head. You head to the kitchen and put some water on a wash cloth. You dab around, and then finally on the horizontal gash running across his head.

After it was cleaned you sprayed it with disinfectant. "This might hurt a bit." You say before applying it to the wound. Collins winces and Roger just pats his back. "You're okay buddy." He says, trying to be reassuring. Collins smiles lightly and you re examine the now clean wound.

"I'm gonna put some bandages on it...but if it doesn't stop bleeding soon you're going to have to get stitches." You tell him, and he nods once more as you wrap an ace bandage around his head a few times. He smiles. "Thank you." He says. "But I should really get going." He tells you. You shake your head instinctively. "You can stay here tonight." You tell him.

"Yeah, you can have my bed if you want." Mark tells him. Collins politely declines. "You've already done so much-"

"No stay." Roger says. "It's okay...you need people to make sure you're really okay anyway." He says. Collins finally accepts and thanks you all again.

Mark let Collins sleep in his bed in his and Roger's room, and Mark slept with you in you and April's old room.

You hadn't gotten rid of her bed yet. "This bed is too small for the both of us." You tell him. "You can sleep in my bed, I'll sleep in April's." You tell him. "Are you sure? I know that might be hard." He says considerately.

"I'm fine." You tell him, lying down in her old bed. It smelled like her. You could almost envision her sleeping there, the moonlight on her face, her red hair flowing beautifully.

"Night Mark." You say.

"Goodnight." He says, rolling over to face the wall.

You just breathe in April's scent, eventually falling into a deep, peaceful sleep.


	11. Chapter 11: The Rent

Author's Note: Yay chapter 11! I think? Thank you all SO MUCH for sticking with me on this story, I know that sometimes I take a while to update but I'm super busy right now so I'm trying my best! Thank you all so much for reading and reviewing I LOVE YOU ALL!- XOXO

Of course, Collins moved in a couple days later, as you had all fallen too deeply in love with his wonderful personality. You made him his own room in the corner of the loft, with a sheet that hung from the ceiling. He made himself right at home, and you were happy that he felt comfortable around you and the boys.

Speaking of the boys...they eventually got over Roger's breakdown, and after some more apologies and tears, you all made up and things seemed almost back to normal...except for the fact that April was still dead...and you still weren't over it.

"I'm home bitches!" You hear Collins' low voice say as the loft door slides shut. "How'd it go professor?" Roger asks with a chuckle.

Collins had just gotten back from a job interview for a teaching position at NYU. Unlike the rest of you, Collins had gone to college and stayed there. "Eh, it was alright." He says, sitting down at the kitchen table without taking off his coat. "What'd you fellas do this morning?" He asks, reaching for a cigarette he had in his pocket. "Not much." You tell him, sitting down with him and Roger at the steel table.

"Mark's out filming." You continue. Collins nods and takes a long drag of his cigarette. You hear him exhale, and smoke clouds your vision for a moment. "He still workin on that documentary?" He asks you. You nod, getting up to make some tea with the hot plate that Mark's mom had sent to him for Christmas.

"He's been working on that damn thing for years." Roger laughs, rolling his eyes, and you hear Collins chuckle. "You're one to talk Davis, whens that song of yours gonna be finished?" You ask sarcastically, turning on the sink to fill the kettle you held in your hand.

Roger goes silent at this, and you hear Collins laugh loudly, and you smirk to yourself. "I'm making tea, you guys want some?" You ask them. "I'm good." Collins says, but Roger accepts the hot beverage.

After making the tea and sitting back down, you all talk for a while before Mark comes in through the door. "Shi* it's freezing out." He says, putting his camera down on the table. "How was your interview?" He asks Collins, not bothering to take his gloves off. Collins just shrugs. "I guess we'll find out." He says and Mark nods.

"Y'all wanna go out to dinner tonight?" Collins asks the three of you. "I'm all for it." You say.

"Yeah that'd be fun." Mark says with a cute smile. "No flow." Roger states curtly.

"It's on me man." Collins says, but Roger shakes his head. "You can't afford that and you know it." Roger tells Collins with a sarcastic chuckle. Collins just sighs.

"Well..." He starts. "I was waitin to tell y'all tonight, but I doubt Roger's gonna come out unless I share the good news." He says. You are perplexed, but continue to give Collins your attention.

"I got the job." He says with a wide smile. You immediately jump up and go to hug him. "Collins that great!" You tell him, and Mark and Roger are now congratulating him as well. "Settle down children settle down." He says with a laugh, motioning for you all to sit down. "I've got something else to tell you.

"Guys he's using his teacher voice." Roger says with a laugh.

"This must be serious." Mark adds on. You all laugh for a moment before Collins speaks again. "They gave me my first advance on the spot." He tells you all, and your eyes widen slightly. He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a wad of cash. "Holy shi*!" Roger says, leaning over the table and taking a closer look at the money.

"That's a lot of cash!" Mark says, eyes focusing on the green bills. You just laugh happily and smile at Collins. "How much do you get a month?" You ask him.

His eyes take on a mysterious tone, although you can tell that it's all for show. "EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS BABY!" He yells, throwing the money up into the air, and suddenly you're all jumping up and down like four year olds.

"We'll be able to pay the rent for once!" Roger yells, half laughing. "No more freezing winters!" Mark adds on,

You suppose good things came of April's death as well, as much as you hated to say it.

But I mean come one...Collins had gotten an actual job! A job that could support your bohemian family!

You could pay the rent!

The Rent.


	12. Chapter 12: Moonlight

Author's Note: GUYS I'M SORRY I SUCKKK! I know it's been like 50 years since my last update but I've been busy and stuff and tbh I don't really know where the story is going now, but I'm trying my best lol. Thank you all SO MUCH for reading I love you guys! -XXOO (Happy late Valentine's Day)

You all went out to the Life cafe that night to celebrate Collins and his new job. After being told to leave by the waiter you were all familiar with, Collins waved his surprisingly large amount of cash in front of the man's face, causing him to go silent, and gesture to the tables nearby. You all laugh and sit down, content with yourselves. You order a couple beers and some fries, before starting in on your usual chit chat with each other.

Time flies by, and before you know it, you've been sitting there for close to three hours. You decide it's time to go home but Mark and Roger have other ideas. "Hey guys I wanna go to the cat scratch club." Roger says, his words slightly slurred from the amount of alcohol he had consumed in three hours. "Yesssss." Mark's voice takes on the tone of a high school girl's as he takes another shot of vodka.

You and Collins were the two who managed not to get TOO drunk."Nahh guys, I'm gonna head home. I'm pretty tired." You chuckle slightly, remembering that Collins was gay and probably wasn't into the whole female stripper thing. "Yeah me too, but you guys can go if you want." You tell them, not wanting to ruin their fun night out.

You and Mark were dating, but you didn't mind if he went to a strip club with Roger, he was drunk anyway. "Okayyyy...see you guys later." Roger waves you and Collins goodbye, and you give Mark a quick kiss before getting up and following Collins out the door.

It was freezing. "Damn it's cold." He says as soon as you step outside. "Where's your coat?" You ask him, noticing just now that he was only wearing a flannel shirt. He shakes his head, "Don't have one." He tells you, and you take yours off, handing it to him.

"I'm okay, don't worry about it." He says with a smile. "No take it." You tell him, you had more layers on than him anyway. He takes the coat, probably only because the temperature really was below zero.

It's probably a five minute walk back to the loft, and you congratulate him once more on his job, and ask him questions, trying to get to know him better than you already did. He had only been living with you for a couple weeks anyway. You laugh and talk all the way back to the loft, and then you laugh and talk some more there.

You are surprised by how deep he is, as you had only seen the charming and charismatic side of his persona. He's also probably the funniest person you know, and almost every sentence that comes out of his mouth has you in stitches. Eventually though, you both decide to hit the hay.

"I'll see you in the mornin chica." He says, chuckling and giving you a quick hug. "Night Collins." You say with a smile, heading into your room.

You had begun sleeping in April's bed every night, as you found it oddly comforting. You loved that it still smelled like her. It was like you still had a piece of her with you.

You smiled as you climbed into bed and turned off the light, closing your eyes and feeling the cool air come through the window. The moonlight was illuminating the room, and you could see it's dim light through your eyelids.

Eventually your breathing slows and falls into a steady rhythm...and you fall into a deep sleep.

Lol super short but I wanted to write something! XXOO


	13. Chapter 13: Seasons Of Love

Author's Note: GUYSSS IM SO SORRY I SUCK I HATE MYSELF AHHHH! I take FOREVER to update! I really wanted to keep this story going, but i've completely run out of ideas so this may or may not be the last chapter:( I'm sorry! Thank you SOSOSO much for reading! Y'all are the best! Please enjoy this (possibly) final chapter and I love you all! - XOXO

The winter passed quicker than usual, now that your apartment had heat. Collins kept his job, and Mark continued his film, and Roger...well he did what he usually did. He eventually got out of his semi-depressed state which you were all very happy to see, although he still wasn't the same as when April was alive.

Then again neither were you.

He had begun writing songs again though, so you were happy about that.

One day you got home from a walk and Mark was filming while Collins was at work. Before even opening the door to the loft you heard soft music playing inside. It was't the usual lazy tunes that Roger would pluck on his beat up guitar, it sounded far nicer than that. You stood there for a moment outside the door, waiting for Roger to start singing.

"I know you're standing outside the door Y/N." He said, and you cursed under your breath before opening the door. "Hey." You say with a laugh. "You working on a song?" You ask him, hanging up your coat.

"Yeah. Kinda. I guess." He says, trying not to sound like he cared to much. You laugh again at his shyness and sit down on the couch next to him. "Play it for me." You tell him, and he looks at you as if you had just told him you were pregnant.

"Are you crazy?! It's not even close to finished!" He tells you, somewhat defensively. You decide to dance around the subject instead, hoping for no more outbursts. "What's the title?" You ask him, curious.

"I dunno." He says, and you smirk, quickly grabbing the paper he had been writing on before he had a chance to stop you. He makes a sound of protest, but you take it anyway. You quickly scan the page, seeing random words written in his horrible handwriting. At the top of the page though, (in slightly neater handwriting) he had written the word...or name rather...April.

You try and conceal your emotions and almost too quickly place the paper back on the table. "Oh." Is all you say, and you can feel his green eyes searching your face for a reaction.

There's a moment of silence before he says "I guess I could play a little of it for you. I mean if you really wanted." Your heart skips a beat and you smile widely. "Yes please." You say.

He begins to re adjust his position on the couch and move the paper closer to him, before Collins and Mark rush in the door.

"Yeah man I'm going later anyway." Collins says, not looking at either of you. Mark follows closely behind him. "You sure you don't just want me to go now? I can-" Mark starts before looking at you and Roger on the couch.

"Oh hey guys." He says, moving towards you both, while Collins puts his briefcase down. "I decided to pick up Collins from work so we walked home together. What are you guys doing?" He asks you, and you glance at him, slightly irritated that they interrupted Roger as he was about to start his song.

"Roger was going to play me the song he wrote." You tell them. Both their eyes light up immediately. "Yeah boy, play us a tune!" Collins says, sitting down in between you and Mark. Roger blushes slightly. "I dunno...now that everyone is here-"

"Oh please you used to play gigs in front of hundreds of people! Play us something!" Mark tells him. Roger shrugs slightly, before starting to pluck the strings.

An arrangement of minor chords mixed with major chords begin to fill the room. They all fit perfectly together, and it's one of the most unique progressions you've ever heard.

He begins singing, his voice sounds different, not worse, just different. It has a new tone to it, and you love it.

It starts off as what seems like any beautiful love song, full of kind words and meaningful lyrics. The combination of it all brings tears to your eyes, until he gets to what sounded like a bridge.

He sings of sorrow and loss...he sings about betrayal and devastation. You want to look at Mark and Collins' reactions, but you are to enthralled by the music. Because even the most painful phrases sounded utterly beautiful.

Suddenly the tension that had been building throughout the song stops, and you think it's over, until he goes back to the original chorus. He is much quieter now though, using his fingers to pluck the strings instead of strum them.

"And suddenly the winter breaks into spring. The sky was blue as your eyes, you're still my everything. Though you're gone, just like a flower that dies in the cold, you will bloom again, just as beautiful.

April."

He stops. It was one of the most heartbreaking songs you had ever heard. Then again, you should never trust a happy song.

And suddenly it hit you. Everything that had happened in the past year. It flashed before your eyes. Meeting that beautiful redhead, and her two cute friends. Moving in. Falling in love with Mark. Loving life and everything in it for the first time in your life. Listening to her painful confession. Dying of guilt but keeping her secret. Finding her lifeless body. Numbly walking out of her funeral. Crying yourself to sleep every night. Finding Collins. Finally moving on.

And suddenly...it wasn't a series of events anymore.

It was one event, one story. A story of love and heartbreak and sadness and pain. A story of inspiration and friendship. It was a story of some kids who were too naïve to see that what they already had was enough. And somehow screwed up their lives along the way.

It was a simple story, composed of seasons. Seasons of happiness and despair and every thing in between. And sometimes the only thing between happiness and despair is love.

I suppose then, that the story was about love.

Seasons Of Love.


End file.
